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****WARNING**** If you are easily offended, usually read this blog with children present, don’t like discussion of fornication or other “f” words (including THE F-Word), you may want to skip today’s post.  It’s ok…I would rather you skip a day than delete me from your reader altogether…

A couple of weeks ago, @lgalaviz and @lucysfootball and a few other people came up with the idea that they were going to be posting something on the theme of Sneaky Fuckers and they went ahead and did it and as much as I want to be one of the cool kids, I kept mulling the idea over in my head and wondering how many people were going to stop reading my blog because I’m using the “F-word” and  sortve gratuitously, at that, but honestly, all the other bloggers are doing it (and yeah, if they jumped off a bridge, I’d probably be a lemming and go blithely along because why not?)

So, there are entire scientific studies on Sneaky Fuckers who are basically not the alphas of their groups but rather the guys that get themselves a lil’ somethin-somethin when the alphas are off attending to important alpha stuff.  Sortve like “Uncle Joe” always seemed to hang around your house when Dad would go fishing with the guys.  (What, that didn’t happen in your house?  Maybe if was “Aunt Lynne” who came and kept your Mom company whilst Dad went away… That right there is another whole scientifical phenomenon that I am not going to get into today, I’ll just let you ponder about that, ok?)

ANYHOO…this week marks the birthday of a good friend of mine who, unfortunately, passed away not long ago.  Big C was a ladie’s man.  He wasn’t my type but we were friends and he spent a lot of time with my wasband.  (Yes, I am sure they were not..”intimate” friends)  and the reason I bring Big C up is because he had a…talent? that fits in with the Sneaky Fucker theme. And I heard about this from enough different people that I truly believe that what was reported happened and is pretty much deserving of “Sneaky Fucker” status in a pretty literal way.

It seems that Big C had a propensity for performing entire sex acts IN HIS SLEEP without any lucid moments.  In fact, from what I heard, while he was a fairly gifted lover when fully awake, he was, it seems, extraordinarily talented whilst asleep.   If you asked him anything about the incident afterwards, he had no recollection that it had occurred.  Now, if this was something I had heard from just one person or from two ladies who were friends and might have discussed this, I would have written it off to ego/bravado and not given it a second thought.  But in the decade and a half that I knew him, this came up in several conversations with a number of ladyfriends of his who were not at all friends with each other.  These were independent reports.

I know that there are probably plenty of folks out there who will read this and write it off as total bullshit.  But this was a dude who LOVED sex and believe me, it pained him to be missing these escapades by sleeping through them.  I guess what I don’t understand is why, if the ladyfriend realized at some point during the act that Big C was asleep she didn’t either a) wake him or b) stop doing what they were doing.  I mean, if she got up and walked away, he wasn’t awake to chase her down and finish the task, right?

So, there you have it… actual sneaky fucking that was so sneaky that even the fucker didn’t realize the act was even taking place.  I know this is much less scientific than the other posts on the topic, where the writers did real research and read theorems or something, but they say to write what you know and I consider having had to listen to a plethora of young ladies recall this stuff to me plenty “scientific”… (or maybe I just wanted to spread the “TMI” around a little).  You’re welcome!