Jenny is on a book tour. Her book is #1 on the New York Times Bestseller list. As it should be.  And she had a signing in Dallas. Trust me, it would have taken wild horses dragging me away for me to NOT attend tonight’s event.

I’ve wanted to meet Jenny for a couple of years now. The desire to meet her grew stronger when she started blogging about her red dress, which became The Traveling Red Dress project.  And then she wrote more about her struggles with anxiety. And about her issues with self-harm.  And her readers poured forth their own stories.  And even though some of what she was writing about wasn’t humor, people read those posts by the hundreds.  And when someone who is usually a humor writer can be real and raw and put things out there that are not cute, funny little stories and people still love them, it’s a beautiful thing.

I’ve been reading Jenny’s book. And I keep reading passages that are about something that I have experienced or felt.  You have absolutely no idea how overwhelmingly powerful it is to know that you are not alone.  That there is someone else in the world who absolutely would “get” some things about you and your life you’ve never told a soul.

I’m sure this whole book tour has been horrible for her with her anxiety and I am absolutely amazed at how kind and gracious she was in the face of people bringing taxidermied stuff and all kinds of other things (like, say, body parts) that they wanted signed.

I had worried for days that I was going to get my chance to talk to her and burst into (purely joyful) tears.  I was shaking pretty violently when I showed her the necklace I’d brought for her.  I was expecting her to say “Yeah, I was KIDDING” when I asked her to sign what she signed for me (if I can figure out how to upload the pic, I will include it below).

Aside from getting the meet Jenny, I got to meet Lisa, too. Which was pretty freakin’ awesome. Because I’ve been “talking” to Lisa on Twitter for months now.  And let me tell you, the people who sat around me before and during her talk? Completely awesomesauce.  A couple of ladies who had come from Arkansas, one from Tulsa… a couple and their daughter who met up with a friend. The daughter was about 15 and reminded me very much of my own daughter.  Everyone chatted and no one tried to steal your seat if you got up (even though there were some slightly miffed faces in the throngs of people who had to stand way, way in the back…) and people were chatting and laughing and the energy was amazing.

So, now I have to wind down and go to bed.  I cannot even begin to tell you what a fabulous opportunity it was to get to meet Jenny and to have my 10 seconds to talk to her.  And she absolutely deserves all the love and support that her readers are pouring out.  She had been afraid she’d be sitting alone at the venues on her book tour,  I don’t think she had anything to worry about. She’s a NYT Bestselling author, after all. (And I got to meet her!)

And she signed me!

Yes, I am taking an entire day off of work to be sure I am at the bookstore she will be at nice and early.  The funny thing is, Jenny seems to think that no one is going to be there for her book tour.  But if you read the comments on her blog you will see that there is someone who is flying into Dallas just for the opportunity to meet her. I am pretty sure that neither the bookstore or Jenny is fully prepared for the crowd.  The two signings I have been to at this bookstore have been exceedingly well attended (like, nowhere NEAR enough seating… people standing in line for over an hour to get books signed, etc.).  And that’s one of the things I love about Jenny, she just doesn’t seem to “get” that she has very (rabid) loyal fans.

So yes… in 11 days, 3 hours, 45 minutes and 32 seconds, I will finally get to have one of my dreams come true.  I’m SO excited. Plus, she mentioned that she’ll sign boobs!  I happen to own a pair and I’ll even bring my own Sharpie (ultra fine point, retractable).

Can’t wait!

It’s been bothering me a great deal for the last week that I had gotten the apartment pretty much all cleaned up and then the last couple of weeks everything is chaos again and I REALLY need to vacuum and the kitchen floor needs cleaning and I am sure that the baseboards in the bathroom need professional help.  I did clean out the cat’s water fountain today, which I dislike because it gets slimey.  I don’t know what the cat does in that bowl but it just gets really nasty and it is NOT a joy to clean.  Also, I feel lately like all I am doing is scooping kitty boxes so I don’t know if they have some sort of weird rivalry going on or what, but I am not enjoying this.

Can you believe tomorrow is Easter already? Guess I am a little more behind than I thought because I went a whole month without writing an EdenFantasys post, which wasn’t at all on purpose, it’s just that March ended up getting the better of me and I was just so busy with everything that “sexy” just completely fell off the agenda.  Back on track this month, though, once I have done a little more research. (Yes, those posts actually require research and 98% of the time research is NOT a euphemism for anything).

How is it midnight already?  Guess I’d better get headed bedward.

For my birthday, my mom and my daughter came to visit from Arizona (where they both live).  I think it’s the first time in about a decade that we’ve actually all been together but I could be wrong… I can say that it has been at least 8 years. It was a good time and I had a lovely birthday and… I even got a tiara!  (Ok, I bought it for myself, but it still counts!)

Many other bits of craziness happened in March, too.   Nothing bad, just things that threw the normal “routine” into chaos.  So now there is some adjusting to the new normal.

One of the bigger things that happened was that my cats, who have been separated by a “baby gate” for the past 7 months are now getting along well enough that the gate has been lifted and while they are certainly not best buddies, they aren’t fighting so that makes things nicer.  It also means I don’t have to spend half of my time sitting out in another room to make sure both cats get attention.  So theoretically, I can be more productive.

A couple of months ago, I was introduced to Central Market by a friend.  Central Market is a grocery store but they carry lots of specialty goodies.  The bulk foods section of the Central Market on Lover’s Lane is amazing.  The whole store is amazing but the bulk foods section is especially amazing. Plus, their bakery carries cupcakes that are not your ORDINARY cupcakes.  My favorite is the Nutella Cupcake… Chocolate Cake, Nutella Filling, Chocolate Frosting with Hazelnuts on top.  Simply divine.

I found a couple of things on sale for about a third of their normal price.  This is the sort of thing that makes me REALLY happy.  I checked out and thought that the total sounded a bit high, but they ARE an “upscale” grocery so, I expect to pay a bit more.  I was looking at my receipt as I walked out of the store and noticed that the sale items rang up at full price.  I was looking around for the customer service desk when a gentleman named Brandon asked if he could be of assistance. He doublechecked the price, APOLOGIZED FOR THE ERROR and refunded the overcharged amount and I was on my way. No fuss, no hassle AND a sincere apology taking ownership of the mistake.  Class Act, Central Market…you have a very happy customer!

I’ve found some real gems in their produce department, too. Chief among them Mandarin Blood Oranges.  They are DELICIOUS!  Their premade burger patties (I had the “Cowboy” variety… Bacon and cheese blended into my burger? Yes, please!) are very tasty. They carry Stewarts Key Lime Soda, which I adore.  I just stumbled upon their vitamin/supplement section where they carry a number of Naturopathic/Homeopathic remedies where I could probably spend a couple of hours (and a couple of paychecks!) and also, they carry something called “Love Dip” which is almost indescribably delicious.  I am not a big dip lover, but Love Dip is fantabulous!

I noticed on my last trip that they also carry Myer Lemons in the produce department and I am very tempted to get some and try my hand at making Limoncello.  But, I think that’s a project for when things calm down a bit.

Off now to feed the chinchilla. She gets a little surly when dinner is late! Have a stellar week everyone!

I’m not sure if taking a copywriting class was more of an effort to validate that I know what I am doing or an effort to make up for a lack of skill. Maybe a bit of both. But I spent two days in a copywriting class this week  and I believe it was time well spent.  I didn’t learn anything really earth-shattering but sometimes reinforcement of ideas you had or concepts that you are familiar with being expanded upon can be very motivating.

I feel that I have a much better handle now on writing things like ad copy.  Learning to identify an audience, think about their motivation and write with focus is valuable to someone with a small business and to someone who assists small (and sometimes not so small) businesses with the written materials that they used to represent their business.

I’ll admit that there is a part of me that is seeking a mentor. Someone who will see my writing and believe that I have the talent to go from ‘sufficient’ to at least ‘proficient’ and perhaps onto ‘professional’.  I don’t suspect that writing will ever be what keeps a roof over my head but considered it a compliment when I was recently told that someone believes I would be a very good technical writer.

I still (perhaps mistakenly) believe that some day I will be able to write a novel that is worth reading.  I don’t think I can get there without a mentor.  Maybe I need to start reading more books to get an idea what it is that people think is worth reading.

I struggle with how to approach someone who I respect and who I think could help me to be a better writer, especially when there is really nothing I can offer that person in return (as far as financial compensation).  But I am coming to realize that the likelihood that someone will read what I have written and want to help me to get to the next level is pretty unfathomable.  And so I use an indirect approach and then burn a  few candles, say a few prayers and hope for the best.  It hasn’t worked yet and you know what they say about doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.  And yet, I still bank on insanity working in my favor at some point.

So, I consider the last two days time well spent, if only to have had the opportunity to learn technique from a REAL writer.  I hope to make the weekend time well spent, too.  I guess I can assess that on Monday morning.  Have a stellar weekend!

Now, I know it’s not even quite March yet and Mother’s Day is all the way out in May and you don’t buy your mom sex toys for Mother’s Day (unless you have a  really open, liberal relationship, I suppose) but for boyfriends or husbands who want to spend special time with their girlfriend or wife on Mother’s Day or if they want to make the lady in their life remember that while she IS a Mom, she’s still a sexy lady, start getting your Mother’s Day shopping ideas now.

If you’re really speedy (and get over there before March 2nd) you can take advantage of the Leap Year Vibes sale.

Also, we’re coming up on Wedding Season (again, that is traditionally June but no sense in putting off shopping until the last minute, right?)   Guess what? EdenFantasy’s has a bridal collection of lingerie and things to add a little fun to a bachelorette party!

But, let’s consider for a moment that maybe you just aren’t in the market (or the mood) for sex toys or lingerie. Maybe you just want to read the latest from The Bloggess… EdenFantasys has you covered there, too!  Yes, The Bloggess writes in EdenFantasys “SexIs” section.

Just some suggestions to get your Spring off to a hot start!

Disclaimer: EdenFantasys compensated me with a Gift Card in exchange for my honest opinion in this blog post.

A couple of weeks ago, @lgalaviz and @lucysfootball and a few other people came up with the idea that they were going to be posting something on the theme of Sneaky Fuckers and they went ahead and did it and as much as I want to be one of the cool kids, I kept mulling the idea over in my head and wondering how many people were going to stop reading my blog because I’m using the “F-word” and  sortve gratuitously, at that, but honestly, all the other bloggers are doing it (and yeah, if they jumped off a bridge, I’d probably be a lemming and go blithely along because why not?)

So, there are entire scientific studies on Sneaky Fuckers who are basically not the alphas of their groups but rather the guys that get themselves a lil’ somethin-somethin when the alphas are off attending to important alpha stuff.  Sortve like “Uncle Joe” always seemed to hang around your house when Dad would go fishing with the guys.  (What, that didn’t happen in your house?  Maybe if was “Aunt Lynne” who came and kept your Mom company whilst Dad went away… That right there is another whole scientifical phenomenon that I am not going to get into today, I’ll just let you ponder about that, ok?)

ANYHOO…this week marks the birthday of a good friend of mine who, unfortunately, passed away not long ago.  Big C was a ladie’s man.  He wasn’t my type but we were friends and he spent a lot of time with my wasband.  (Yes, I am sure they were not..”intimate” friends)  and the reason I bring Big C up is because he had a…talent? that fits in with the Sneaky Fucker theme. And I heard about this from enough different people that I truly believe that what was reported happened and is pretty much deserving of “Sneaky Fucker” status in a pretty literal way.

It seems that Big C had a propensity for performing entire sex acts IN HIS SLEEP without any lucid moments.  In fact, from what I heard, while he was a fairly gifted lover when fully awake, he was, it seems, extraordinarily talented whilst asleep.   If you asked him anything about the incident afterwards, he had no recollection that it had occurred.  Now, if this was something I had heard from just one person or from two ladies who were friends and might have discussed this, I would have written it off to ego/bravado and not given it a second thought.  But in the decade and a half that I knew him, this came up in several conversations with a number of ladyfriends of his who were not at all friends with each other.  These were independent reports.

I know that there are probably plenty of folks out there who will read this and write it off as total bullshit.  But this was a dude who LOVED sex and believe me, it pained him to be missing these escapades by sleeping through them.  I guess what I don’t understand is why, if the ladyfriend realized at some point during the act that Big C was asleep she didn’t either a) wake him or b) stop doing what they were doing.  I mean, if she got up and walked away, he wasn’t awake to chase her down and finish the task, right?

So, there you have it… actual sneaky fucking that was so sneaky that even the fucker didn’t realize the act was even taking place.  I know this is much less scientific than the other posts on the topic, where the writers did real research and read theorems or something, but they say to write what you know and I consider having had to listen to a plethora of young ladies recall this stuff to me plenty “scientific”… (or maybe I just wanted to spread the “TMI” around a little).  You’re welcome!

I don’t want to miss the event. I think it would be a really good networking opportunity. And I got a free ticket.  I think this is the sort of dilemma many bloggers with smaller audiences face.  We want to go to events which would increase our networks (and possibly bolster our readership)  but because we don’t have huge readership which draws sponsors, we often can’t afford to go to events. (Or maybe it’s just me and other bloggers don’t have this issue).  So, I’ll be pondering how to make this work.

If you missed it, I’m taking part in a giveaway, so make sure to go and enter  (see my previous post) and then check out the other great blogs in the hop!

Hope you all have a stellar week.  I’ve been really busy so far this week (and it’s only Tuesday!)  Let me know if any of the rest of you face the challenge of wanting to go to events but running into obstacles!

I asked Robyn at Crooked Acres to help me out with my “Burning Love” prize package which will include a selection of habenero jams and hot sauce!

Entry is exceptionally simple… just use the Rafflecopter (be patient with it, it can take a little bit to load)


a Rafflecopter giveaway

Happy Hopping!

Anyhow, the good folks over at EdenFantasys are ready for Valentine’s Day. And if you’d like to get something a little sexy for your Valentine, Edenfantasys is a good place to start looking!  In fact, they even have a gift guide for those of us who have no idea where to begin!

If you are in the market for a new toy but you have a budget, check out the clearance items.  Shopping clearance is a good way to stretch your shopping dollar. I know that a lot of people (myself included) often think of toys, lingerie and pretty much anything to do with sex as a “luxury” item, so being able to get “more bang for your buck” is always appreciated.

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of the Ohmibod line of vibrators… they interface with your MP3 player and vibrate to the music.  I’ve never used one myself but had a friend who reviewed one and it looks like fun.  I will probably get one of these at some point because I love cool “Tech” stuff and have to admit adding tech to my sexytime sounds pretty hot.  And right now EdenFantasy’s is having a sweepstakes where you could WIN one!

Hope you have a great Valentine’s Day and that EdenFantasys can help make it even better.

And on February 1st, I have something else fun I’ll tell you about!

Disclaimer: EdenFantasys compensated me with a Gift Card in exchange for my honest opinion in this blog post.